Recently I had been struggling with some petty shit, mostly involving the “aging process” and difficulty losing weight, some pictures that I saw of myself were less than satisfactory. I joined a diet program and went to bed last night worried about how I would take to it, how I would keep to it, and whether it would work.
I awoke, made my cup of black coffee, 1 tablespoon of lactose free creamer, and went to grab the paper, which normally sits on my front porch. No paper this morning for some strange reason, so I go for the next best thing, CNN in the morning, lets see what happened in the world last night while I slept and dreamt of dieting.
Benazir Bhutto’s assassination flashes across the screen, images of her weeping openly upon her return to Pakistan after years of exile and being welcomed with open arms by her party, the pakistan peoples party, and her people. What a sad day for democracy. This woman had such charisma, was such an incredibly strong person, Musharrefs 3 day mourning period seems silly compared to his declared emergency state, and I wonder about the progress of Pakistan. I wonder about the country’s future, its elections, and mostly, its women. In a place where being a woman is nearly a crime, Bhutto represented the democracy we as americans strive to spread. It is a great loss that our world has suffered today, and now, my diet just doesn’t seem like a big deal…I’m still gonna do it, but man. Talk about having your worries shoved back in your face.
Everyday, there are little reminders that whatever it is I find myself freaking out about is probably not worth freaking out about. Everyday, I am reminded of how short and precious life is, and everyday I find myself letting go of the little things.
I mourn her death, mourn for her people who will suffer because of an extremist group fueled by the most natural gas available; all in the name of religion. I don’t think this is what God has in mind, no matter what God you kneel before.
I will write about my christmas and festivities tomorrow. For today, I am going to respect Musharrefs day of mourning.