Last night was such a sleepy night. Yesterday was a gloomy day. I have a girlfriend, Ry, who just moved from a much cloudier, cooler climate, and she mentioned yesterday that the weather was a bit funky. Yup. Its our three day gloom period. Then we go back to being sunny san diego, but with a tad more of a chill in the air. I love the air. The crisp smell and feel that you can almost bite. One of my favorite things ever, and there is nothing I can do to make it happen, or be the cause. Even if I wanted to smell that smell, it will only appear when it wants to. Something to love simply for the sake of loving. The crisp and the post rain. I could die for that post rain cement smell. Clean. fresh. new. Something about both of these smells remind me that the year is getting on, and its time to move along. I suppose its fall. Just the change of the seasons flamer, nothing to get sentimental over.
BUT IT IS!
San diego, for all its sunny days, and clear skies, has no change of seasons. We are either summer, summer that’s a little bit cooler, and winter, which is just rainy and lasts maybe two/three months collectively. You never have to watch the leaves fall, wait for snowflakes to blanket the earth, or watch the worlds rebirth come spring time. San Diego is an immortal city, its changes so subtle, it takes a long time resident to notice the passage of time. You have to watch for it. Hope for it, pray for it.
This is my favorite season around here. Occasional light showers, sunny days, and crisp air for me to eat on the way to yoga.
I’m not going today for one simple financial reason. Silly as it may sound….
I ran out of my unlimited class session last wednesday, which is the last day I went. I had to work thursday and friday in LA, had saturday and today off in SD, and then have to go back up to LA for monday tuesday and wednesday. I decided not to buy the week unlimited until I’m done with my little fuck everybody run so I can get those seven days to practive if I so choose. IN the meantime, I have been running Kai Blunts dog California Bear along the cliffs and its the most gorgeous picturesque excercise mission I have ever taken in my life, besides Hawaii by my mamas. And wait, the Oakland hills, running through the wilderness, brush next to giant redwood trees, only to find yourself on the edge of a mountain overlooking the entire San Francisco area. Just the thought of the bay makes me wanna buy a ticket on Southwest. Take a little time…..hahhaha. Like I haven’t been taking time. Man, I’ve been taking so much time that it is setting back my home buying plans! But I figure fuck it, life will happen when it is good and ready. Its like trying to force my gardenia plant to bloom just because I like the smell Nothing I do or say will make that little fucker open his fragent flowers.
Well, today, I figured a light jog with California Bear, some laundry, and get ready to go back to lala land. back and forth back and forth back and forth. Do I leave tonight? Tomorrow? Who knows! All I know is that some time out in the sunshine and open to the salty sea air will do me good. And maybe if I’m good and I behave myself, I will go to yoga tonight as a little present. A little present for the body.

Right now this very moment, coffee is a must. It’s the only item present on my to do list of any matter, so being the good “to do lister”, this is Penny Flame, signing off.
Get yourself outside and enjoy the day.

So the other day, I hop on an airplane to Las Vegas to work for the seriously sexy Vic Lagina. I don’t really hop on the plane, because nothing in my life is ever that simple. I’m standing behind these two guys, one fine as fuck, the other do-able if thats the way its gotta be, in the security line. Taking off various articles of clothing…hoping he gets a whiff of Viktor Rolfs Flowerbomb…suddenly, all of our names get called over the intercom. Supposedly the plane is waiting for us, and they are ready to take off. Thankfully none of us were terrorists, so on the plane as I take the second seat that I see, the two gentlemen pass me. Nope, the finest one comes back and sits down in front of me. We are both riding dick on southwest sandwhiched between two elderly people, and I wonder if I am breathing louder than usual. Turbulance…..the stewardess’ are asked to take a seat, and the jokester of a captain reveals the bumby ride we are about to experience. This gives me an idea.
We are about twenty minutes out of Vegas when another patch of funky air hits. I grab my eyeliner, because I have no pen, and write on the inside of the perfectly square napkin depicting the company’s airpaths.
“If we go down, meet me in the bathroom If not, than after your trip, for drinks….”
And I gave him my number.
This man was so fine…..I can’t even tell ya. Tall, but not too lanky, light green eyes, and sandy sun dyed hair. He had Rainbow sandals on, so you know he wasn’t a douche. He was so cute that when we got off the plane, I just bounced. I practically ran out of the fucking airport, blushing all to hell. I don’t care if he calls me, or not. I really don’t. I’m just proud of myself for making a bold move. Not quite my style, giving my “digits” on napkins to strange men. Not really a strange man, but anybody on his way to vegas with his buddy is either getting wild, or getting married after….ha! Oh man. That’s why I get in trouble.
There was another, on the way home in the airport, and although I didn’t throw myself at him as much, I definately had a little eyes fucking pre flight. Then he disappeared among the many traveling salesmen of our nation.
Back at home, Wolf has been on my mind, and thanks to his fantastic coffee making skills, mornings with him sound nice. Sound yummy even. Perhaps another night of debauchery? A girl can only hope.
But in the mean time, I desperately need more yoga gear, so if you feel like donating to my cute stretchy self, or wanna see me getting sexy in the yoga outfit of your dreams, please go to shaktiactivewear.com, or upvibe.com, or even coutureactivewear.com and buy all the wonderful things for me that I can’t buy for myself. pretty pretty pretty please?????
AAAAAARRRRRGGGG. I doubt this new bold me is going to work out. Asky mcaskerson. Whats that about right?
But really, these are my favorite websites, and I drool all over my G4 looking at shit on em all day.

What a hectic night! Sometimes, I feel as though when I dream too much, I don’t get enough restful sleep, That being said, I think I dreamt last night from the moment I passed out on my couch to the moment I woke up in my bed (yes, I realize there is some missing time, like me moving from the couch to the bed, but I sleep walk, so there ya go….). The first dream I had, my mom, family, and a couple friends had traveled up to the mountains to get a little recreational fun. Once we get up there, my mom pulls over to this huge mansion, that looks like the perfect sleepy mountain retreat. Once we get inside though, its obviously not. We walk through these huge double doors to find an older woman with a long denim dress standing in the entryway, awaiting our arrival. My mom says thank you so much for taking my daughter, and then she looks to me with these sad sad eyes, and says she’ll be back at the end of the weekend. THEN SHE LEAVES WITH ALL MY FRIENDS!!! LEAVES ME THERE ALONE. But I’m not alone…
I wander around the mansion, and suddenly find a stream of kids heading one way, at which point feeling like salmon, I say fuck it and go with the flow. The river of young people leads into this stadium seating room, where we are handed textbooks, calculators and notebooks. I’m looking around like are you fucking kidding me? My mom dropped me off at a weekend get smart camp? ha! Fuck this. I turn around and check out the kids behind me…..square. kids in front, L7 squared. So I raise my hand in hopes of asking to use the restroom, not that I know where it is, but as I reach my hand into the sky a huge spot light comes down on me and the room goes dark except for this solo light. A booming voice tells me the rest of the room is going to wait patiently, as should I. My hand crawls out of the air, but before the lights come on, I’m running up the steps trying my best to flee in the temporary darkness. I make it to the top of the classroom, which actually turns into the outside, and soon I’m sliding down and running into other fuck-ups who had taken off when the lights cut out. run run run. run back through the house, out some higher than average bathroom window, down more thickety brush, and to the front door, where I find my mom. I start screaming at her to get in the car, this place isn’t what she thinks, and we run run run some more, and the darkness.
The next dream starts with the same kind of mansion, although not the same mansion, and I’m looking for my little sister. She hasn’t been calling me back, and I’m on a mission to find her…I’m walking through this casa, on expensive cold marble floor, running my hand along the smooth oak handrails along the stairs, calling out to my sis. occasionally, a random person (and if I’m dreaming about random people, who in the world has me running through their dreams….) will pass by, trailing scents that are so familiar and so distant. After searching the whole house, I find my little sister in the downstairs laundry room, so skinny I could break her, with pock marks all over her face, like a fucking meth addict. I start screaming at her that she is doing meth and a hideous smile breaks out across her face and she tells me she doesn’t care it makes her feel better and it’s none of my business. I start hitting her. But not that hitting where I actually connect, it’s the frustrated dream hitting where my fist of fury never meet her gruesome grin. I tell her that meth is gonna fuck her up way worse than I will and she should think about that while I beat the crap outta her. I’m pulling haymakers on her….power bombs, and ddts…..
I wake up thrashing around my bed, pillows on the other side of the room, kitty afraid to get close for our morning snuggle time (because every morning, my little purrball crawls into my sheets and puts her little back against my chest and we spoon until I’m lively enough to crawl out).
Wierd. Wierd how much I remember of the dreams, how vivid they still are. I suppose they will fade through the day, but for now, such strong images of such important people in my life. Makes me worry about my sis. I tried to call her yesterday, and no answer. Today if she doesn’t answer I will go find her. You only have one family.
And I’m gonna call and cuss my mom out for dropping me off at some crack ass rehab lindsey lohan looney bin. Not cool.
But she’s in Hawaii, and she’s just gonna laugh, cuz we both know she would never do that….

So if you’re around, come say hi. I’ll have a couple dvds, but its not a feature show or anything….just for a little fun. Something to do.
xo

So two dear girly girl friends came down to Sunny San Diego to play this weekend, and let me tell ya…..
From the moment they came into town, I felt as though a hurricane were lapping against my tightly sealed windows and doors. Okay, I take that back. Honestly, we had so much freaking fun, I don’t remember most of it. It all started Friday night, when we decided to put on some fake eyelashes and go out dancing. I even wore this adorable little frilly fluffy fluff dress, not normally my bag, but it just felt right. The girls, that would be the incredible edible, taryn thomas, and sexy miss angel, and I polished off half a bottle of pear flavored grey goose before we got into the club, so once the jager bombs started to flow (and oh how they flow), you could tell this night was gonna be trouble. I ended up smoking cigarettes, yes, ewww, but I can’t lie, I had a couple, losing all the girls; Taryn got kicked outf for having a faulty shoe (also known as way too drunk syndrome), and Angel had followed her in an attempt to salvage what was lost. I end up getting a ride home from this random dude, who’s name just kept slipping my mind, only to find miss angel and Taryn the ass hat sitting on my front porch.
:)
Taryn starts yelling at the dude that he has to go, because this is her dads complex and we aren’t supposed to have dudes here, and this whole fabulous lie to ease the pain of telling him there was no way he was gonna stick it in any of us. hahahhha, oh lord I fell asleep laughing about that one, while Angel went out to get some dick, and Taryn passed out on the couch.
Saturday morning: We go see my coffee man, who says he has never seen me this hung over, (and oh boy he sees me hung over, I’m there every morning for my soy vanilla latte yummmmmyummmm), and he thinks he knows how to cure me.
Baileys Latte.
Dream coffee man. Thanks Wolf…and we go to breakfast. After breakfast, we return to the coffee cart for round two, at which point I invite Wolf down to the beach for a day of drinking and debauchery. We return to the house, and invite the homie Delish over for Angel to snuggle with. Taryn is laying on the couch, Angels in my bed, and I’m lying on the cold tile floor in my living room when both Wolf and Delish show up. Dave crawls in bed with Angel, while Taryn and get our shit together and head down to the beach, (18 pack and half full bottle of jager in hand).
We sit on the beach, go swimming, play a rousing game of shoes, back into the ocean, (whoops broke the seal a little too early and now every beer just washes through), jumping in the waves, a little bit of an undertow, but crystal clear like crystal pier. Taryn at one point decides she has had enough beach day, and stomps off mid horse shoe. Says she is hungry and needs to go eat….so at the 17th and 18th tecate, Wolf and I decide to start our way back home. This is a little hard to do being that he is the coffee man and everywhere we go, someone is trying to buy him a shot. And it’s hard to make it down this street by my house, what with all the bars and good times going on everywhere. Well, we hit up three different bars on the way home, take at least 4 shots at each place (whoa nelly) and at the third bar we go to, Taryn and Angel show up, saying they want my keys (which I didn’t even realize I had, so there was never any worry for a dui). I thought they were there to drink the night away with us, and start clapping and jumping. Only after 8 jumps did I start to wonder how in the world they found us! Taryn says she literally walked down the street and listened for my voice, and seeing as how I have a tendency of losing my volume control when I drink too much, we weren’t too hard to find. Whatever, after a brief argument over who has my keys (I said taryn, she said me, she was right I was wrong wrong wrong), I realize she isn’t there to drink and party, they really do want the keys to my car to go home, so no problem ladies! Take it away! I don’t need the fuckin thing!!!
After Wolf and I walked the mile and a half back to my casa, we partook in……well……I’m just going to leave this open ended
In the morning, everyone was hurting, although less than the previous day, so after Wolf left, we decide to go down to Wavehouse, a bar right on the beach that I frequent simply for the overly priced drinks and entertainment value of watchin some cute little surfer boy eat shit not more than twenty feet away from my salty, sticky table. Love it. Too much to drink, no surprise there, and Taryn is kicked out once again. I don’t know how this time. All I know is that I was kickin it with the DJ and sure enough Angel comes stumbling over to tell me how Taryn is outside and called a cab and lets bounce. I talk to the security guys (and yes, I probably sexually harass them a bit, as I have been known to do when intoxicated), and they say that she is just way too drunk and has to go. They invite me and Angel to stay, but being the good friends we are, its go time. We decide to take a cab to Bud Bleezes casa…we get in the cab and out of the parking lot, and wait one minute. Where the fuck is Angel? Who are these other two girls in our cab? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON???? I’m making out with one of the chicks, She’s inviting us back downtown for more drinks, (of course they know where to get free booze), we say no no no, going to Buds. As soon as we get to Buds, I get a hold of Angel, give the cab driver the address, and sit in the middle of the road patiently awaiting her arrival. Taryn has already ventured inside to fuck with Bud, who was asleep after a hard day of drinking and watching the Raiders game. Meanwhile, in the middle of the street, I’m playing with my shoes like hands in them dancing, doing the waiting for Angel dance, which I of course had a song for. (waiting waiting waiting, for my lost angel friend). Cabbie shows up, I pay, Angel and I go inside to find Taryn butt naked running around Buds house, yelling about how she needs to get fucked, and its time for her to get some, and Angel passes out on Buds ottoman, Bud denies Taryn (but only because she was screaming for it, and he always likes it a little hard to get…), at which point Taryn puts on his tank top, her bathing suit bottom, and leaves the premises. “WHERE THE FUCK DID TARYN GO? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??” I try and get Angel to sleep in Buds bed, where it is mcComfy comf, and she says no, so we decide to go out looking for Taryn who is walking the streets of Ocean beach partially nude and barefoot.
Are you shitting me?
Suddenly, Delish is calling me saying that he went and picked up Taryn from some random liquor store, and what the fuck is going on, she keeps yelling at him, and he wants to make sure we are okay, because supposedly we ditched her (untrue untrue untrue), and that is how she got lost, naked and shoeless. I ask dave to please take her back to his house and put her to bed, because she is no longer allowed outside as drunk as she is. And we already got kicked outta one bar today, so please just put my little asshat to bed so she is safe and then I know where all my friends are, and I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself. Delish is a wonderful man, and tries his best. So I go out to the bars with some highschool friends, and its shots of patron all night. fun fun fun. meeting crazies at the bar all night, back to Buds around 1:00am, and its all mellow. Until Angel wakes up. And Taryn calls us, admits to fucking Delish, who Angel had wanted, and Delish doesn’t want to play with the crazy drunk girls anymore, understandly so, and locks himself in his room. So Angel takes Bud up to the roof and fucks him silly there, while I hang out in his bedroom with this Ginger kid named Dylan, nice kid, and we talk hip hop, Brother Ali to Murs, People under the Stairs to Necro, yeah, Dyl isn’t a bad ginger at all. In fact, he’s a Zoni, and new and fresh to cali, so upon Bud and Angels return, we welcome him to Cali in the best way possible
A fat Blunt.
Which pretty much puts us all out, well, except for bud who still tries to grab a titty here or there, so me and Angel bite his whole body until he is subdued, and then we all pass out.
And the whole world slept.
There were apologies the next day, talk of never drinking again, and only today have I felt well enough to relate and relive the whole weekend through blog. But I think I’m just getting too old to play this rough. I hurt. The recovery time is longer, and the pain is deeper. Fuckin wild. Anyway, I’m stoked the girlys are two hours away, because damn they really gotta wanna get fucked up to get all the way down here. Ahhhh.
Now all I have to do is clean my freaking house,unclog the kitchen sink (Mr. Rooter is coming over at 2, bwao chicka whao whao….) and get my little butt to the gym and then to yoga. Think I’ma go for a run, then to class, just to make sure all the filth from this weekend is washed out. I went down and got coffee this morning, and it wasn’t wierd or anything, which I was stoked on, because Wolf makes a damn good soy vanilla latte. And I’d hate to have to get different coffee because of some funny drunk night of lust and sexiness….
And he’s tall and skinny like I like em.
Bad bad flame….but I’m still burnin…..

In the last letter, I allowed myself to become a little emotional. And in retrospect, I gotta admit I should have just let it all go. Immediately. I shouldn’t have allowed such nonsense to get under my skin. We aren’t together, no promises were made, and I let the fact that I was excited to see someone make me bitter. And bitterness is never a pretty emotion to wear, especially when you mix in my pride….. But thats learning for you I suppose….
…
There are no words that can describe the situation better than those of Sogyal Rinpoche, pg 35 in the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.
“So often we want happiness, but the very way we pursue it is so clumsy and unskillful that it brings only more sorrow. Usually we assume we must grasp in order to have that something that will ensure our happiness. We ask ourselves: How can we possibly enjoy anything if we cannot own it? How often attachment is mistaken for love! Even when the relationship is a good one, love is spoiled by attachment, with its insecurity, possessiveness, and pride; and then when love is gone, all you have left to show for it are the “souvenirs” of love, the scars of attachment.”

I must learn to let go of all experiences, both good and bad. Because in the end, neither is good nor bad.
And I should apologize here for the lack of updates as far as pix are concerned. Im going to meet up with my web guy at the end of this month, and do so much content, it will make you want to barf. In addition, he says that he has been working on a way to set my casa up with live streaming webcam, but since he is on a pc, and I’m on a mac, he’s having some difficulties. Whatever, I’m considering buying a new 24 inch imac, mostly for the built in video features, but also because I could set it up in my art room, and broadcast not only little interactive shows, but also my painting sessions, and pretty much everything that goes on in that room. I could just leave it on, ya know? Anyway, I just wanted to share with you all, and let you know that I’m getting on it. promise.
And I’ll try and add a little filter to the shit that I type here….
:)

I know you are going to read this. I know it. What I don’t know is, why? Why in gods name do you keep checking in with me, and watching over me, if you want nothing to do with me? Why do you say you want to kick it, or meet up, and why do you waste your energy bringing up something that you won’t follow through with? Since when did you turn into a man who can’t return a text, who can’t stay true to his word. Since when? Is it the no meat thing that’s got you nutso? Not thinking straight?
I don’t understand what you are trying to do, and it frustrates me. It confuses me.
You didn’t have to do my stupid yoga with me if you didn’t want to, even though it is the most special thing in the world to me. You didn’t have to share that with me if you didn’t want to. And you didn’t have to eat a delicious acai bowl next to me, or ponder all the beauty in the world beside me. And no, you didn’t have to come skate and do awesome tricks that I know you’ve been working on, while I ride behind you and cheer. You didn’t have to see me, period. All you had to do was call and say “no, I don’t want to see you after all.” Or text “nope, decided it was a bad idea to spend time together.” or even “yeah, got another bitch and I’ll never see you again.” Say something. But you left me hanging. All weekend. That isn’t the way you treat your friends, and unless you’re in the morgue, there is no air to clear.
It makes me wonder why you would even get in touch with me. Why you would bring us back to a place that is so comfortable, and yet so exciting, and then puss out at the last minute? I don’t want anything from you. I never have. Back to when you bought me mucklucks. All I have ever wanted is to spend some time with you. To see how you are doing. Be a (if not very small) part of your life. So that when I think about you, I see the present you. The NOW you. But now I know. Now I know you. The now you.
The lame you, who stands up nice freckled girls from san diego.
So thanks. I was really excited, feeling justified in holding on.
Now I’m just really excited to let go.
Bye……

Well, last night’s class was special for me. I felt so strong, so solid, so fluid. This morning, I awoke feeling a tad tired, actually slept till my alarm that goes off at 8, (usually, I’m up at 7:30 or so) and knew immediately it would be a tiring class.
Did I set myself up? I just struggled a little getting that last sentence out, which never happens, because when I write I just write and write and write, and when I stop, I’m usually done. But That sentence got me for some reason, and I’m thinking it is because it wasn’t true. It felt like I was looking for something, “This morning, I awoke feeling a tad tired…”, an excuse. My muscles were a bit strained, but that is nothing new. It was my mind. It threw me off this morning, and I let it effect my practice. My mind was somewhere else.
I fell backward in awkward pose, with my toes up up up, and leaning my upper body back back wayyyyyyyy back, and then whoops, on my butt. Back up.
I collapsed in triangle, down down down to the floor, not even completing the left side second set of the posture.
Even the last few moments of the T posture, something like tuladangasana, stretching my spine foward and backward, leg and arms stretching in equal and opposite directions, I folded like the dreaded umbrella.
And then after tree pose, we move onto the balancing posture on the floor, (which I never attempt, because I never feel strong enough), D said try, if you fall you fall, and so ultimate concentration, I sank to the floor and for a few brand new seconds, I balanced.
Then I forgave myself. Too hard on myself. Too tough. Too unrealistic sometimes.
Maybe the practice should continue in the afternoon more often, if it means an improved technique.

You know what it could be? That pure exhaustion that played me all through class? Well, this past labor day weekend, Snugs and I traveled up to Berryessa. Figured we would try our labor day lake celebration in Cali, (not that fucking hell state formerly known as Arizona), and not in jail. And how’d did it go you ask? Fan tas tic.
Except for this one little dumb whore. I mean, wow, what a fucking ungrateful little swiney pig. Hold on there flamer, start from the beginning…..
So Snugs has this buddy Big Charles who is a real nice kid, but beyond shy. clinically shy. So shy in fact that he is still a virgin, because he doesn’t have the flava flaaaaav to pull a bitch. SO Snugs, being the wonderfully bunny that he is, has taken Chucky boy under his proverbial wing. They started with things like hollering at bitches out the window when they drive by. It progressed to Snugs hollering at some beezies that were down to help him out and these fine young ladies couldn’t stop laughing when CHuck just stuck his tongue straight out and tap tap tap against the puss. Berryessa was a big step, because Snugs had invited two almost gauranteed to suck someones dick bitches and well, who’s cabin were we at? Big Chuck.
The first one, little Hawaiin, nice enough girl, a bit of a (self-proclaimed) drunk, loves to go swimming, and happens to throw her homies under the bus with the quickness. She was cool to kick it with, but really though, I wouldn’t turn my back on her.
Then there’s the fucking ungrateful little swiney pig. This chick wandered it the first night, ploughed like a fucking field, whining about how her man just dumped her. I had some sympathy, because I didn’t know…
the girl drank us out of house and home in three days. Only started conversation with “Can I,” or “Do you have a….”. At no point in this chicks stay, did she pay for anything that was consumed (and being that I brought up like 5 bills worth of groceries I got a little bit heated). Whatever. We got this random boat of people to take her for a day, because I was just sick of the fucking bullshit. The last day, me and snugs wake up everyone hecka earls so we can clean, collect, and go out for another liberty duo floaty run on the boat. I ask everybody in the casa for $50. Nothing. That’s like two cases of beer and a burrito. Which this bitch had before breakfast. Everybody else is fine with it, even stoked a little, considering everything was paid for all weekend, and this little tramp starts complaining about how we should have told her at the beginning of the weekend blah blahy blah shut the fuck up before I hit you in your little acne covered face.
I didn’t, Because I love Snugs, and Big Chuck. Didn’t even approach her. If you stay at least 15 feet away from the person you want to deck, it gives you time to reconsider as you fly in for the kill.
And after surviving her all weekend I would have slaughtered her. Call me Coalinga, California, because I would have killed the fucking cow. But I’m on informal probation, so that is never taken lightly. Cow killing. And I feel much better after venting here, for the whole world to read about what an ungrateful trampy swine this bitch is. She kept saying to me, “why don’t you smile? Gosh, you just never want to have fun” And that is when I wanted to wrap my perfectly manicured nails around her fat little pig neck and squeeze. I don’t see how she could even expect me to smile looking at her when she has been nothing but a disgrace and a set back to the modern woman, and every feminist in America. Since when are we not capable of taking care of ourselves bitch? does the modern young woman still depend on everyone around her to provide for her? I don’t think so trick, you need to pay me my fucking 50 dollas and get the fuck on. Real women bring shit to the table. We come in playing even with everyone we meet, and sometimes you win or lose, but at least you threw down your bit and played like grown folk.
whatever. I let it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll go. Because I get to come back to beautiful sunny San Diego, and go to yoga, and eat acai bows with yummy celery and pineapple juice, and bike down to the beach, to lay and enjoy the clouds passing by.
And she has to go back to her life, to which I’m not giving the time to invent.
But I did offer her a deal…….Suck big Chucky’s dick and we’ll call it even. (no response…..hmmm….)
Leave it up to Snugs and his crazy bitch attracting abilities. Are you kidding me? This was like 5 for 5! And that’s just the ones he still tells me about, because I talk a gang of shit, and he just doesn’t tell me anymore when he’s started dating someone for fear of my gang hoo riding. ahhaaha. like my ganster ass lingo? I’ve been working on it. Anyway, Snugs still needs to work on his lady skills, meaning finding ladies and not psycho biatches, but Chucky boy is in desperate need. He did step up his game though. He got a girl to come back to the house, and even down to the boat. That’s why I love Snugs. Not only is he a good protector, but he is also a great teacher……hahahah…….oh I love that bun.
Okay. Look for my yogic documentation tomorrow. I’m thinking I should start a daily record of my progress. Is that too crazy I wonder?
hmmmmmmmmmm

I just finished my yoga class and I feel incredible. Invigorated. pumped. I’ve never finished as strong as I did today. Start strong finish stronger. It was all in the breath, tonight more conscious and present than ever before. Almost all the credit I give to the teacher, D. What an amazing dialogue, so present, full bodied, breath by breath. The heat disappeared. I felt hotter in my body than in the 115 degree room. The change to practicing in the afternoon/evening is nice. Because now, as the high wears off, I get to enjoy a meal, a little bit of ice cream, and my cozy lightly covered bed (because it has been hot as fuck here). D said that in one 90 minute class of Bikram you burn 850 calories. Fantasticly thourough.
I can’t wait to go to his next class.
how fortunate to fall asleep inspired, hopefully leading to inspired dreams
xo